Before Roe V Wade

Forty four years ago I found myself pregnant. I was nineteen years old, a sophomore in college, and I thought it would never happen to me since I always used protection.

I was young and dumb and willing to try anything not to be pregnant. First I read about a drug, I don't remember the name, that was supposed to induce an abortion. A short time after taking the drug I lost consciousness and was dropped off at ER by people who left me without giving any information. They did not want to be complicit in a bad outcome.

An incision was made directly through my abdomen; the scar is still very visible. The first thing I remember in ER was someone from the clergy standing over me praying. When he realized I was conscious he told me they were not sure I was going to live and wanted to notify my family. I would give them no information as I decided I would rather die alone then face the disappointed looks. I don't know if I was actually in danger of dying or if this was just a ploy to try and get information.

From ER they sent me to the psychiatric section of the community hospital since they had decided I was trying to commit suicide. After a number of days where I had to again and again assure them that I was not suicidal and that I would not attempt any type of procedure to cause an abortion they let me go.

Upon returning to the house I shared with a number of other girls I learned about, and became part of, the shadow grapevine on how to deal with an unwanted pregnancy. I was given a number to call in Mexico. After finally reaching someone I was told what I was to do and what it would cost. No names were ever given or asked for.

I sold my car and flew, by myself, to Monterrey Mexico and went to the hotel where I was to wait for someone to pick me up the following morning. When the knock came on the door, I just went with the person, not having any idea what was really going to happen. Would I live, be maimed, or die? None of these thoughts deterred me or gave me pause; I was a nineteen year old on a mission. And, I was one of the lucky ones. After the procedure they returned me to the hotel and the next day I flew back home . Upon my return I did go to a gynecologist and was thoroughly lectured about me how lucky I had been.

We have made great strides since then in assuring no young women today should feel so desperate as I was before Roe v Wade. These strides though could easily be undone by one new appointee to the Supreme Court, and the next president should have at least two picks. Having an abortion is a difficult enough decision without having to go to a back alley and, legal or not, abortions will happen.



Niki 63 y/o Felton, CA